


Honors Classes

by missema



Series: Kirkwall Tech [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Abandonment, Adultery, Affection, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe of an Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Bingo, Children, Dating, Demons, Drabble, Dreams, F/M, Ficlets, Kilts, Kirkwall (Dragon Age), Kirkwall Tech, Laboratories, Lies, Madness, Marriage, Memes, Outer Space, Pets, Prompt Fic, Remorse, Roguery, Sadness, Shenanigans, Survivor Guilt, civil engineering, historical prompts, post college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-09 07:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12272046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: Prompt fic and short fills featuring Melissa Hawke and Sebastian Vael. Some aren't necessarily part of the continuity of their series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt was "I'm like 75% this won't explode on us."

It was a fact that he understood well that Melissa was a genius. Oh, she never went around saying it, but it was undeniably true. She had the kind of mind that was good at most things she put it to, that recalled facts fast, saw patterns easily and didn't rest. If Sebastian ever had a wish for her, it was that her mind could rest as easily as her body did when she fell asleep each night.

Her curiosity was one of the things that attracted him to her. She asked smart questions, endless questions, and wasn't afraid of the silence needed to think things through. He was taught to never ask questions, to not look for underlying reasons, never to challenge or push or hypothesize about any other way of being. Things simply were in the world where he'd been raised, and he simply had to be in the same way.

It was her curiosity that had them in a chemistry lab at half past midnight on a Wednesday. Melissa had keys to the science labs, because she'd somehow gotten them years ago and never had to give them back. Her overworked mind had a theory that she had to test, and though chemistry wasn't the field where either of them had a great depth of knowledge, Sebastian trusted her when she sat up in bed and said she had a really cool idea.

"Tell me again what we're doing?" he asked, stifling a yawn.

"No time. Hand me that vial I mixed earlier. Good. Oh Maker, I hope this works," she said softly, praying over the experiment.

"I hope we aren't permanently disfigured," Sebastian added.

"Don't be silly, I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us," she said. 

Sebastian made sure to push his goggles back down over his eyes and took a half step back as she carefully blended the two mixtures. He hoped that was a high enough percentage to keep them whole.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "I'm going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else."

"Sebastian!" she was giggling as she called out to him, standing arm in arm with Isabela under his window.

He should have been asleep, he told her he was in for an early night when she texted him, begging him to come out with them. But his light was on, and she knew how he couldn't sleep with the light on at all. Not even for naps. He was either awake in his room or he'd left his light on while he was someplace else in the house. Either of those equalled one thing; Sebastian was not asleep.

"Come on, come on, we can do it," Melissa said, pulling Isabela to the side of the building.

"You can, sweet thing, not me. He's not my boyfriend," Isabela said, shaking her head and pulling Hawke's arm from around her.

So she did. Melissa drunkenly scaled the side of the KSE building up to his window, nimble even with more than a few drinks in her, just a little wobbly at the beginning. Maker, she was sweaty. This was hard fucking work. She'd need another drink when she got to the other side.

"Sebastian," she called out and Isabela echoed her. She was close enough now to his window that she could see the lock, but it would be another few minutes before she could put herself in place to pick it.

She called out to him again, and this time the window opened.

"Ladies," he called out and both she and Isabela erupted into a chorus of drunken cheers. He was standing there, framed in light and looking utterly amused at the both of them.

When she reached his window, Sebastian helped her inside. His arms helped catch her from falling into his window when she stumbled and nearly fell onto him as her foot caught on the frame. It was a damn good thing he was so strong, because he caught her easily, pressing her tight to him as he kept his balance.

She'd thought he was just shirtless when she saw him in the window. Melissa had been mistaken. Sebastian was completely and utterly naked, standing there with her in his arms. He was smiling at her, wet hair pushed back from his face. She could smell the soap on him, saw traces of it around his left ear. He'd been in the shower.

"What are you doing breaking into my room?" he asked, but Melissa took a step back and shook her head.

“I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else," she told him.

"You broke into my room. You don't get to dictate the terms," he pointed out.

"Is it breaking and entering if you opened the window from your side?"

He walked over to his dresser, and with his back to her, pulled on a pair of boxer-briefs. Part of her was relieved and the other was so desperately disappointed that she almost made a face when he turned back to her.

"What's so important that it's got you shimmying up the drainpipe?"

"Nothing in particular," Melissa shrugged and grinned at him. "Isabela bet me I wouldn't do it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "I may have accidentally, sort of adopted five cats."

He was surrounded by cats when Melissa got to his apartment. It was a cute scene, even if she had no idea what was really going on. He didn't own any cats, but yet there were five mismatched kittens encircling him in his living room. Sebastian was so busy playing with the cats, that he forgot that he'd invited her to come over that evening. When Melissa walked in with the dinner she'd picked up, he didn't seem at all interested.

"Sebastian?" she asked, letting the question be in her tone.

"I may have accidentally, sort of adopted these five cats," Sebastian answered. "They're good cats, Lissa. It's a big apartment. It'll be fine."

"Um, okay. Have you bought them food? Do they have a litter box?"

"The woman I got them from gave me a litter box. She was sitting outside the grocery store with too many cats, and no one wanted any, so I took them all."

"But you've never had cats before," Melissa said. She'd only had barn cats growing up, the kind that fight and come back with scars and aren't allowed in the house. They were semi-feral and certainly able to take care of themselves for the most part. They'd only left water out for them, and made sure they could get into the barn and out of it. Her father had been good about tricking them into carriers so he could take them to the vet, but she had been rubbish at it when the job fell to her. She had no idea what to do with these docile indoor kittens, let alone five of them.

"I had a dog when I was a boy. How different could it be? At least I don't have to walk them," Sebastian said, and Melissa rolled her eyes. She guessed they had five cats now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Please put me down, it's just a sprained ankle."

Jogging was the worst exercise. Melissa hated jogging with a passion, because what was the point? It wasn't running, which she didn't mind as much, and actually was a good workout for her and it had none of the charm of going for a walk. Sebastian, however, seemed to like it. His enjoyment of jogging probably had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that he often jogged shirtless around the entire campus, and got plenty of attention for it. 

He was like that sometimes. She didn't mind, mostly. 

Today he was wearing a shirt and she was jogging with him, because Melissa stupidly, foolishly, signed up to a charity race for KSE's partner organization, a organization that helped children and their families deal with grief. Most of the charity work they did somehow involved or benefited the same place, but they liked to throw in some park clean ups and Chantry soup kitchen work just to keep the members involved all year. Signing up to help wasn't the foolish part, it was signing up to race. Had she been in her right mind, she would have offered to work the registration table.

Even in training, Sebastian refused to outright race her. It was because she'd win and gloat about it, she knew, so she settled for jogging (ugh) right next to him at an even, too slow pace that made her feel like she was laboring through particularly dull homework. The pace was too slow to lull her into the thumping, rhythmic comfort of a run and going so slowly meant she felt every dip in the road, especially when they ran over the uneven cobblestones on campus.

She was watching her footing, but apparently Sebastian wasn't. He went down hard on his ankle on the cobblestones and landed heavily on the ground at her feet. Melissa stopped short and came back to him immediately. Back in Ferelden, Carver had fire safety training, because he'd been working towards being in the volunteer fire department. His favorite person to pick up was her, because it so annoyed her. She'd learned how to pick him up on her own, even though they had such a disparity in their weight. Carver hadn't stopped trying to annoy her by picking her up, but he was wary after she started doing it back to him.

That was how Melissa know how to do a fireman's carry, picked up Sebastian and put him securely over her. He started to laugh as she did, but she was serious about it.

"You don't need to do this, I just needed a hand up. I think it's just sprained," Sebastian said in her ear. It had to be at least sprained, she could hear pain in his voice, beneath his obvious amusement.

"You're hurt. We're right near the infirmary. I don't want you injuring it more," she told him. She could see the squat brick building coming up on her right. The campus infirmary left something to be desired when you were really ill, but for things like this, they might do an adequate job.

“Melissa, please. Put me down, it’s just a sprained ankle," he said, this time all amusement gone.

When she set him down, he couldn't put his weight on the ankle. He couldn't do much at all, so up he went back onto her shoulders, despite the noise of protest he made. He sounded just like Carver whenever she got him. She made sure to keep her back straight as she lifted him and carried him into the infirmary, where the nurse at the desk commended her quick thinking and proper form.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "So why did I have to punch that guy?"

Starkhaven wasn't what Melissa was expecting. She thought it would be just her meeting Sebastian's family for the first time, not actually being part of it. When his mother took her aside and asked if she 'really wanted to do this', Melissa answered yes, because being party to this circus that was royal pageantry was part and parcel of being with Sebastian.

Sebastian had even tried to talk her out of it, frowning at her in the mirror as she sat on the edge of the bath, watching him shave. 

"When I'm in Kirkwall, at school, there's a moratorium on any press about me. Or taking photos of us. They know about us, obviously, but they can't do more than wait until we graduate. You should think hard, Lissa, before you say yes to this."

"I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it with you," she said, making him smile.

"At least you're honest. It's going to be bad for a while, I won't lie. They'll want to see me either sainted and redeemed or spiraling out of control. A quiet life won't interest them for long, and they'll back off after a while. At least I hope," he said.

She let herself be measured that morning, had clothes picked out for her, her hair redone, and expensive treatments applied to her body and face that she didn't have names for. It was like being with Isabela on overdrive, all the pampering and primping. Melissa didn't mind it to be honest, but it was almost all novel to her. It felt like being in the makeover montage of a movie.

The next day she and Sebastian were to walk together into the Chantry, and be photographed with the rest of his family. It was a big moment -- the first time he and his family had been seen together in years -- and she was included in it. Starkhaven was having warm, rainy weather that made it impossible to dress quite right, it was too cold when it rained and then sticky and humid afterwards, but picking out clothes was done for her. She would be dressed in emerald green and beige, and gold accessories. Some thoughtful soul even had an amulet made for her with the Amell crest on it, and she put that on with the rest of the outfit in the morning.

There was no trouble with the photographers, none with the Chantry service, and none at all with the whole planned outing. The trouble started when she and Sebastian split up so he could show her the view from his favorite place in the city. Without the massive amounts of guards and his parents, Sebastian relaxed. They were shadowed by a set of guards, but Sebastian drove her to a spot nearby a casino that looked forlorn in the daylight.

"I used to come here to gamble," he told her, "but the view was better than my luck most of the time."

It was a very nice view, probably too good for a casino, she realized, looking out over the water and the bridges that led from the little peninsula where the casino resided. It was a popular tourist spot, looking out over that view, and they weren't alone. 

A man, short and stout with hair so obviously colored to its shiny blue-black color that Melissa almost laughed, approached them. He called out Sebastian's name and identified himself, though she could tell this wasn't someone Sebastian knew well. Striding forward angrily he came at Sebastian, only to be stopped by a guard who advised him to back up. When he was thwarted in his target he whirled on Melissa, who was off to one side closer to the view. He was so overtly hostile it made her hackles rise. The man started to wind himself up to bellow in her face when she slugged him. He went down hard before he could even start whatever torrent of abuse he wanted to unleash, whimpering as he folded in on himself. She hated when people yelled to no purpose except winding themselves up more, the way he got in her face like that was an attack in and of itself, aggressive, menacing and unnecessary since his ire wasn't even supposed to be directed towards her; she was just a convenient target.

"Get up, Eberly," Sebastian said, standing over the man and prodding him with a toe. When he didn't, Melissa shrugged at him.

"So why did I have to punch that guy? Besides the obvious, I mean. He really shouldn't get in people's faces like that."

"Because he's an arse who's probably mad at me for something I did while I was drunk several years ago."

"Ah," Melissa said, though his explanation left her with more questions.

Eberly, whoever he was, was helped up and pushed into a sitting position by one of Sebastian's guards, who he then waved away. Whatever he was going to say was apparently lost, because even at Sebastian's sharp questions, he would say nothing. He didn't look at Melissa except to give her a glare, which she served right back until he flinched. He mumbled something that might have been an apology and staggered away, clutching at his stomach with unnecessary drama. 

"I regret to say that there's probably more where that came from," Sebastian said to both her and his guards.

"We'll make sure it's stopped, Your Highness," the guard said but Melissa laughed. 

"You know I should punch people more. I'm good at it. It's a gift," Melissa told him. 

"You could have gotten out of the way. I know the way you move," Sebastian said, frowning. "You can be like smoke on the breeze when you want to."

"I didn't think. It was a natural reaction to people trying to yell at me up close. Call it fight or flight, and this time I fought." Melissa grinned, still flush with adrenaline and the realization that she was protecting his honor. Sebastian must have realized that too, because he leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Melissa took one last look at the vista over her shoulder, and then looked for the car. She didn't think she'd ever come here to gamble.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “The skirt is short on purpose.”

“So that’s your family skirt?” Melissa asked, and Sebastian shook his head. 

“It’s a kilt, Lissa, not a skirt. But yes, this is the traditional Vael tartan,” Sebastian explained patiently.

“Okay, that I understand. And I’ve seen them before. Just not that short. Like, shouldn’t it come to your knees or something?”

Sebastian didn’t answer her, but she didn’t really expect him to. He was meeting with the Viscount in less than an hour, and she was distracted by the sight of his thighs. They were nice thighs by all accounts, but that damn skirt, ahem, kilt, had them all out in the open and she knew for a fact there was nothing beneath it. She’d watched him put it on, wondering how he was ever going to sit down in it.

“It’s mine from when I first came to Kirkwall. I didn’t think I’d gotten any taller, but maybe I have. It’s loose in the waist.”

“That’s an accident waiting to happen,” she commented dryly.

“Are you ready?” he asked unnecessarily, because she’d been ready before he had. His ensemble of traditional Starkhaven regalia took longer to put together than the sedate black suit she was wearing.

“I’m just waiting on you,” she said.

Soon after they made their way to the Viscount’s Keep without the wind blowing up the tiny skirt, much to her dismay. When they got there and met the seneschal outside of the Viscount’s throne room, he raised an eyebrow at Sebastian. It was such an eloquent commentary that Melissa felt there was no need for him to voice the question, but she answered anyway.

“The skirt is short on purpose, seneschal. It’s a statement of virility,” she explained and got Bran’s equally eloquent eyeroll in response. 

“A statement of virility?” Sebastian asked, unable to keep the laughter from his voice.

“Just go with it,” she whispered as they were ushered in to see the Viscount on his throne.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”

"Do you ever dream about me, Lissa?" Sebastian asked, looking not at her, but up at the sky as he asked.

They'd been running and now were laying in the quad on campus, neither very inclined to move. She did roll over to look at him after he asked that. Sebastian lay in the leaf-strewn grass, somewhere between awake and drowsing, heavy lids closing infinitesimally more with each breath. She had to see his face to even begin to understand that question.

"You mean like a daydream?" she asked, but Sebastian gave her a faint shake of his head against the ground.

"I'd like to hear those especially, but that's not what I meant." Melissa heard the faintest hint of that teasing in his voice, that lilt that told her he was interested, far too interested for any good to come of it. At least for now, that was the way it had to be between them.

"No. I wish I didn't dream, to be honest," she said and then quickly amended the statement, "I mean, not like I wish I were tranquil or anything like that. I just," she shrugged, breaking off and letting silence fill the moment. "Most of the time my dreams aren't anything. The ones I remember aren't great or make me sad. I dream about my father a lot, or Carver, since he left."

If he had been drifting towards sleep before, Sebastian was fully awake now. He hadn't sat up, but she felt him sharpening his focus on her, eyes no longer droopy but narrowed, his shoulders tenser than they had been just seconds before. Melissa didn't want to talk about her sad dreams in front of the whole damn school, sitting on the grass with him. This wasn't the place for it.

"You talk in your sleep. Very faintly, but I heard you talking about a princess and dragons last night," she confessed with a soft half-laugh.

"I dreamt about you, that's why I was asking," he admitted, smiling as he closed his eyes. "You're the princess. There was a dragon."

Melissa laughed, she couldn't help it. “Wait what? I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it. I was hoping the dragon was the princess.”

"There was a dragon that needed slaying. You're the princess that does such things."

"So I'm a princess, and I was fighting a dragon?"

"We both were. You're very quick with a set of daggers. It was out at the Bone Pit."

"Why the hell would we go there?" she asked, giggling. 

"Maybe dragons like it there. Anyway, if you ever fancy real dragon hunting --"

"--I promise you I don't," she interrupted, but he continued on anyway.

"There are dragon hunting parties. My father forbade me to go on any when I was younger, but my brothers have both been and he goes every so often. I always thought it would be exciting," he said.

"How did I get to be a princess in Kirkwall? Why would I stay here and fight dragons?" she asked, genuinely curious. It concerned her that his imagination seemed to have cast her in a role she could never play. Melissa was many things, but a dragon-slaying princess would likely never be one of them.

"I'm a little fuzzy on how you were princess, but you had fancy armor. Definitely princess dragon-slayer worthy." He yawned out the last bit, and Melissa stood up. It was growing too cold, and she was suddenly unhappy with this fictional version of herself, greater than the farmer turned math student could ever be.

"I can't save you," she pronounced standing over him with her hands on her hips. "You're just going to have to do that yourself."

She was set to take off running, to tell him that she was going back to her apartment and leave him there on the ground when Sebastian reached up and took her hand. He slid his warm, calloused fingers between her own and smiled up at her, unaware that she'd been just about to sprint away. Or perhaps he had known, because both his eyes and the grip of his hand beckoned her back towards the grass next to him.

"I already did, Lissa, at least I hope I did. Sit back down. There's no dragons here today."

And for once she listened to him, dropping back to the warm patch of ground she'd just vacated and went back to looking up at the sky next to Sebastian.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Please stop petting the test subjects.”

Truth be told, he wasn't much of a scientist. Sebastian never had the knack for biology, chemistry gave him headaches and he nearly failed it, though he had passed his two required physics classes with decent grades. His specialty was in transportation engineering, not environmental systems. Engineering was applied science, not classical, and he excelled at the application, at finding solutions rather than making observations.

Melissa wasn't a biologist either, and he was glad of it. She had a better head for chemistry than he had and her physics work was excellent. Isabela, however, was a very good marine biologist, both passionate about her focus and the broader biological sciences. She'd once told him that she'd met Melissa in a biology class, but then later said they'd met passed out under a table at the Hanged Man. Of the two, the thought of them passed out under the table in a bar scenario much more likely.

Both of them were tutors, though Isabela didn't work through the department as Melissa did. They'd tried once, disastrously giving her a set schedule that she disregarded. Bela didn't like rules about her space or her time or her body, and after hearing about her mother and ex-husband, Sebastian understood exactly why. So tutoring, even though she had the ability, patience and knowledge, Isabela didn't have quite the will or the need to bend to the whims of a department head eager to overschedule her with appointments. But somehow, Isabela always had time to answer any questions Fenris had about the work. Sebastian knew that game too well.

But he'd tagged along with Melissa, Isabela and Fenris to do some biology work in a lab he'd long avoided. Fenris was the one taking the class, Isabela was showing him how to do the experiment, Melissa had presumably come to help with the math and he guessed he was there for support? He wasn't really sure, and had only really come because he needed to get out of the house. The KSE pledges were undergoing another training, this time on banking and finance, and Sebastian had heard quite enough of that in his life. 

Kirkwall Tech wasn't an agriculturally focused school. Sometime he wished it were, but the farms around the outside of Kirkwall weren't abundant producers until well past the city-state limits. Most of the food was imported. It limited the kind of science they did, making it a terrible school for agricultural work, for some of the types of animal husbandry and farming sciences that thrived in Ferelden, and very good for Isabela's marine biology. But there was a supply of animal test subjects for classes in this laboratory. Though Sebastian had no great affinity for mice, he was sitting there watching them in the cage as Fenris let Isabela lead him through the experiment he was trying to understand. 

"So what are you here for, if he's just now doing the experiment?" Sebastian asked Melissa, who was sitting across the table from him, looking at her phone. Under the tabletop, her foot brushed rhythmically against his shin to an anxious beat only she could hear. 

"Huh?" she asked, looking up at him. "Oh, I came because you were going."

"I thought you got asked first," Sebastian said, smiling at her. Melissa smiled back before looking down at her phone one more time and then sliding it into a pocket.

"No, you definitely did. The data isn't quantitative, it's observational, so I have no real purpose here."

"We could just go," he suggested, but Melissa's attention was diverted again, missing the meaning in his words.

She picked up the lid of the container where the mice were and wooed one of them towards her hand. Sebastian watched as she got the mouse to trust her, which was fairly simple with lab mice, and then picked it up out of the tank, stroking its head. She held it out to him and he took it, keeping his hands gentle as he did. She took another out and then put the lid back on, though there were no more to let out.

Fenris turned around as Sebastian started to make cooing noises at the docile little white mouse and frowned at him. Sebastian missed it entirely, consumed with trying to ease the nervous little white mouse in his hands. Melissa was speaking softly to her mouse, murmuring endearments to it as she stroked the head with one finger. Fenris looked over at Melissa, who was cupping her mouse in her hands and shook his head at the two of them.

"You two, please stop petting the test subjects,” he said, trying to sound stern but the lilt of his voice betrayed his amusement.

"But they're so cute," Melissa said, although she took the lid off the container again and let the little mouse find its way back home. He supposed he'd better do the same, and so Sebastian let his mouse escape back into the box and then got up to wash his hands.

Surprisingly, Isabela looked more annoyed with both of them than Fenris. She glared at him as he washed his hands, the harshness of it not even faltering when he flashed her a smile meant to engender forgiveness. It was easy to forget that underneath her cavalier exterior, she cared deeply about her chosen subject and the environment, but he knew that she'd given lots of the money she'd inherited to organizations that protected the oceans, beaches and the life therein.

"If you two aren't going to help, I'm sure there are other things you can do," she suggested, looking pointedly at the two of them. "We can catch up later."

He hadn't really known why they'd been invited anyway, but Sebastian was ready to go. He offered Melissa his hand, and took her still damp one in his as they left the mice and their friends behind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”
> 
>  
> 
> This scenario is if they'd never dated but were friendly in college.

Though he had almost no time to date now that he'd graduated, Sebastian did from time to time, wish he had someone. A significant other firmly in place would make this transition from school to working life less difficult, he imagined. It was a lonely time, filled with working too many hours at a job that didn't really test his skills and coming home to find he wasn't good at remembering to buy groceries, then eating whatever was in the apartment and going to bed alone. That was what happened most nights, and Sebastian, who was used to a house full of brothers and friends, was lonely, not just for companionship, but the relationship he hadn't dared try in college. His parents had been very clear that finding such a someone would be the cause of him remaining banned from Starkhaven past his graduation, so he never put any effort into it.

He kept his head down, he passed his classes, joined groups that allowed him to find friends and people to hang out with that weren't always partying. He volunteered in the community, at the Chantry, and was taught things he couldn't learn in classes. He did what they demanded, graduated with honors. 

So why now did his father expect him to introduce him to 'someone special' on this visit? Why did he feel an irrational pressure to produce this someone special? Maker, if he had a girlfriend, not just a date but a girlfriend, he might not feel like he was breaking inside.

There might be someone, but they were more like friends that flirted, never quite making it to anything serious. Two months ago he'd run into Melissa Hawke, who was also still in Kirkwall working, while he was out with people from work. They'd had classes together at Tech, but he hadn't seen her since graduation. They'd talked, flirted, had a drink together and he got her number. 

Then they'd gone out for drinks again, just the two of them. A date. A real one. His first in years. Now he was hovering over a text he'd wanted to send for a while, asking her out to dinner, weighing the options before pressing send. If she went, he'd ask her to meet his father, just to help him out. If she said no, then all this didn't matter anyway. Maybe she was already busy. Maker, maybe she was seeing someone because he'd waited too long between dates and had been too busy at work to do more than just text her. Sebastian bit his lip and thought about it, then decided not to think too much about it, and pressed send.

This was just dinner. He'd ask her to meet his father if she said yes. If she liked dinner. If she was as sweet as he remembered. But first, he had find out if she'd even go to dinner with him. He was all set for no answer or a rejection when he got an answer.

She said yes.

#

"I have a question to ask you. Well, a favor, really," Sebastian said as soon as they were alone again, and food delivered from the waiter.

Over dinner Sebastian asked her, begged her really, to meet his father. His father, the reigning Prince of Starkhaven, wanted to see his youngest son settled. Sebastian was sheepish as he explained that he did want to date her, he hadn't known his father was coming to visit the first time he asked her to go out for a drink. If she didn't mind meeting his father already that would be great, but she didn't have to do it.

Melissa understood relatives and pressures and trying to meet expectations. Maker, did she ever know how that was, how it felt to fall short of expectations. There had been so many hurdles she hadn't cleared, and not for lack of trying. She'd have done this for any of her friends, truth be told. Sebastian, cute as ever as he blushed and stammered his way through asking her to meet his father in a week, had already made up her mind to say yes.

Her family, the Amell part that basically just consisted of her mother and uncle, the far-flung cousins and aunts not withstanding, they had expectations. There were things they wanted to live up to even though Melissa's life had been in Ferelden, as a Hawke, until forced to leave it all behind. Suddenly, she was a lady, and had to stop being everything she knew how to be. When they got to Kirkwall, there was a title to reclaim, a manor house, a squandered fortune with old debts to be repaid, so many little things she hadn't thought mattered to her mother until suddenly they did. There was an expectation now, where there hadn't been before, and Hawke nearly was crushed under the weight of it.

She left the titles to her mother, and went to school instead, thinking that at least was what she wanted. But that too came with the dreaded expectations, though thankfully her mother, who hadn't gone to college herself, didn't know enough about it how it worked to be a real nuisance. Mother was just generally herself, expecting Melissa to do and be the best even in her difficult course of study.

Melissa smiled at him over her barely started plate of curry chicken, hoping that he would relax when she gave her answer.

She definitely got where he was coming from, so once again, she said yes.

"Sebastian," she broke in when he kept nervously talking, his plate of food untouched. "I'd love to meet your father."

#

His father was more pleased than Sebastian had expected, not just with Melissa but the whole night. There was an ease in the man that was rare, and certainly Sebastian hadn't experienced it before. Their relationship was still difficult -- he had to imagine that banishing a son would complicate even the best of relationships -- and theirs had never been very good. They never seemed to fit, he was more his mother's son than like his Vael side, and it showed in every way his father decided to measure.

Not a proper Vael, he'd been told more than once. Disappointment had been said far more times. But not tonight, not even hinted at. His father might actually be proud. Sebastian wasn't sure.

They were at his apartment, sharing a drink with Melissa, the three of them all sitting in companionable, mutual astonishment over how well dinner went. Conversation had flowed easily between them, the Prince of Starkhaven was charming when he wanted to be, and he wanted to be that evening when he met Melissa. She in turn, was funny and smart and titled, three things his father hadn't been expecting at all and earned his approval because of them.

Sebastian was pleased, not just at the way Melissa had held up during dinner, but by the way his father had subtly shown his approval. Outwardly, Sebastian didn't show too much of his happiness, because he knew his father too well to be too proud of the night before it was over. The Prince never missed a chance to take him down a peg if he felt Sebastian needed it.

"Can I refresh your drink, Your Highness?" Melissa asked, standing up. She took up Sebastian's glass as well, and made her way back to the kitchen where he kept his liquor.

His father nodded in approval at her, and Sebastian got up to follow, excusing himself. The kitchen, if it could be called that in his loft, was just around a slight bend, but basically out in the open. From where he'd been sitting, he could see it easily, could see her back as she stood poured more whisky in the two glasses.

"Melissa, didn't you want another?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"Thank you, but no. I have to be able to get home tonight."

"I can get you a cab if you're worried or want to have another drink with us," he offered. She finished what she was doing and gave him a smile.

"I don't know. I might. It's been a really good night," she admitted with a smile. "I was a little nervous about meeting your father tonight, but he's really nice."

"I'm glad you're having a good time," he said, and stepped closer to her. "Which glass is mine?"

She handed him a glass and then took her own from him, debating over refilling it. Then she looked up at him. It was just a simple thing, but when they locked eyes, Sebastian felt it. There was that spark, the rush of feeling he'd missed for so long, present and alive and electric when he looked at her. 

Melissa must have felt it too, because she came over, forgetting her empty glass and pulled him into a kiss. It was warm and sweet and demanding all at once, and suddenly, he wasn't sure if they were playing the established couple for his father or getting caught up in the moment or better, falling into something new and real. She had beautiful thick black hair that he caught his hand up in, and though it wasn't their first kiss, he felt like it was the first time they'd connected. He could feel her pressing close to him, her hand on his neck pulling him closer, the other on his chest near his heart. It could have gone on for hours, but Sebastian felt his father's steps on the hardwood as he walked up behind them and they hastily broke apart.

The next drinks were over quickly after that, his father retreating to his hotel as quickly as decorum allowed. He was still unfailingly polite to Melissa, but Sebastian was unsure how his father would treat him now. He saw them, there was no mistake about it, but whether he'd come to the kitchen because he'd seen them or had happened to see them after he got up made all of the difference. The first was because his father considered their behavior rude, the second an accidental intrusion, and the difference mattered. 

But his father neither chastised him nor clarified, at least not that evening. "She's a lovely woman, Sebastian. Treat her well. Keep up the good work, son." That was all he said as he got in his car and was driven away, off to sleep off the liquor before he went golfing with the Viscount in the morning.

Melissa was apologetic when he came in. "I am so sorry," she started, and once she began she couldn't stop. "Oh Maker, I have no idea what I was thinking. Your father saw us." She took a breath and looked him straight in the eyes, "I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

He started to laugh, not at her distress, but at the whole thing, the situation and his father, and at the relief he felt now that it was over. When he laughed, so did she, grinning first and then dissolving into giggles that made her face light up. She was so beautiful and kind to do this for him. 

"Are you sorry?" he asked when he got himself under control. "Are you sorry that you kissed me or that we got caught?"

"Neither and both," she said, still laughing. "I mean, I'm sorry if it got you in trouble, but I liked kissing you."

"I have to admit," he said, looking over at her, "I liked being kissed."

"You haven't finished your drink yet," he said, motioning at her glass. It was empty still, but easily filled. "Would you like to stay a little longer?" He kept his voice light as he asked, but he desperately wanted her to stay. Not overnight, and certainly not for sex after all they'd both had to drink, but to slowly finish one more drink, to laugh and talk with him and forget the pressure of their awkward third date with his father. Her conversation and observations, as well as just her company were the only things he desired, for the moment.

Melissa gave him a slow smile and nodded, saying yes for a third time to him. "Your father left in a hurry, but I prefer to take my time." She poured her own drink, careful not to fill her glass past halfway.

He couldn't argue with that. Sebastian, glad beyond reasonable measure that his gamble of a night had paid off, put his hand on the small of her back and walked with her back into the living room. He'd have to call her a cab, but he was glad the night wasn't over yet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”

She slid the goggles up over her head and took a deep breath, relishing the silence after all of that fucking chatter. Why did Desire Demons feel the need to talk so much? It was like being an interviewer in a particularly ridiculous job interview, where the demon tried to guess what desires burned brightest, never quite getting it right. Melissa let herself stagger away from the place where the demon had 'died' for lack of a better description, the viscera still radiating heat even as it burned away and was sucked back into the earth. Maker, she hated demons, they were so damn gross.

"Maker's breath," Sebastian panted, and leaned forward to put his hands on his knees. "I need to work out more."

"If you go to the gym any more, you'll have to stop going to work," Melissa said, also breathing hard.

Of the four of them only Fenris didn't look completely winded and was keeping a quiet vigil as he made sure nothing else tried to sneak up on them. Bethany looked like she might be ill and Melissa went to put a hand on her back. Her sister jumped at the touch, but didn't cast on her, which was a good sign. She took off her pack and offered Bethany a bottle of water, which she took without a word. If she still looked peaky in a minute, she'd give her a lyrium potion, but Bethany's mana usually bounced back with some rest.

Sebastian's job with the Viscounty had given him full and complete access to the sewers, slaver tunnels and all kinds of archaic warrens under the city. Supposedly, they were trying to restore them or fill in what wasn't needed, but first they had to clear them. A substantial amount of money was offered to whomever did, and Melissa had thought, what the hell, when Sebastian told her of the offer. 

She thought it would be easier than this. They couldn't use guns or explosives in the tunnels themselves, and she'd learned more about daggers and bows than she'd ever wanted to know. Modern weaponry did nothing against the oldest kinds of ghouls and demons, and that's exactly what was under the city, not the charming transients and rodents she'd been hoping for. But for Sebastian's job and the money, she'd done it, assembling a rotating team of people they knew that were most likely to actually succeed working as a group against actual, manifested demons.

"That's the tenth demon summoning this week, holy shit," Melissa commented to no one in particular. She now knew that demons were strongest when they first came into the world and after they'd learned to survive. Once they were here, unless they were smart or lucky at luring prey to them, they grew weaker. This half-dressed demon that spouted utter nonsense about how she wanted more than anything to be Viscountess, had been amazingly strong, one of the worst they'd faced.

"Who knew that the sewers of Kirkwall were this full of demons?" Sebastian asked, giving her a wry look.

"Probably everyone that lives in Kirkwall," she said.

Fenris prowled over on light feet, his face set into a scowl. "We shouldn't linger. We have to find the cause sooner rather than later," he said.

"I agree," Bethany said. "We can't go on like this, no matter what the Viscount's paying."

"Not tonight," Melissa said and shook her head. "Let me ask the guard to scout it out first. That's the least they can do, let us know what we're walking into. If it's a big fight with some kind of blood mage, we need to be ready."

There were general murmurs of agreement, and she could sense the relief in all of them. Maker help her if she actually had to do this for a living. She took Sebastian's dirty hand in hers and led them out of the sewers. The air, while never quite sweet in Kirkwall, was a welcome change from the oppressive stink of the sewers. She was going to spend like two hours in the shower with Sebastian getting the smell out tonight.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”

His mother was asking for them to come visit Starkhaven. Sebastian wasn't exactly dreading it, but visiting home, now that he could visit, seemed a slippery slope. His family wanted him back in the fold, and he wasn't sure if he desired a place there at all. They'd banished him after a lifetime of ignoring him, of being disappointed that he wasn't more or maybe less, but anything but him.

There were things he still needed to talk out in therapy. Maybe he'd manage to make it there before he had to go back to Starkhaven and face his family again.

It was an invitation, not to lunch or to spend time with the family, no, that would be too normal. She wanted him to come back for a party, an anniversary party for his parents. Every noble in Starkhaven would have gotten the same invitation. His mother didn't even tell him herself until he called her about it. For the past four years he hadn't been back, couldn't come back, his passport would have been seized at the border, but now she wanted him to celebrate with them, as if nothing had happened at all.

Sebastian was just going to ignore it, until Melissa showed up with an engraved invitation bearing her name and title, written on the front in the same calligraphic script as his own invitation. She came into the apartment and set it on the table where he was sitting, distractedly trying to make up his mind on whether or not he wanted to make an evening pot of coffee.

Dealing with his family drained his energy.

"Got this in the mail," she said, and grimaced at him. He shook his head at her, agreeing with her unvoiced disbelief.

"I know. I have one as well," he said, his voice flat and emotionless as he did.

"Are we going?" she asked, but he had no answer to give her. For as many reasons as he could think of to go, there ten more why he shouldn't. While he was silently seething, Melissa picked up her invitation and pushed it at him again.

"My name is wrong. I hope you know that my name is actually Melissandra," she said, and Sebastian looked up at her in surprise. He was jolted out of his contemplation of how much it would cost him to ignore the invitation by the statement.

"What?! Are you serious? You're kidding."

"I am not," she insisted.

"You're named for your mother?" he asked.

"Yes, in part," she said. "And a great grandmother on my father's side."

"Is that what your degree says? Melissandra?"

"Yes, because _it's my name_. You've seen my license before. How did you not know this?" she asked, now looking at him in surprise.

"Lissa, you're kidding me, right?" he asked, but even as he did he knew she wasn't. Sebastian took her hand in his and said, "Tell me your full name."

"Melissandra Justine Hawke. Sebastian, you know my name," she said, giving him a look filled with frustrated incredulity.

"Apparently not, _Melissandra_ ," he said, and she made a scoffing noise. She still didn't believe him, but if he'd known before he'd forgotten it.

"Are we going?" she asked again, repeating her question about Starkhaven. Sebastian merely shrugged at her in response.

"It's up to you, really. Do you want to go?" he asked.

"What's it like?"

He thought about it, he hadn't actually been to his parent's anniversary party since he was a child. They held them every so often, when his mother felt the need to celebrate, and the last one he remembered was when he was eleven or twelve.

"It's not as big as you'd think. They'll tell everyone not to bring a gift for them, but for a charity. Um, what else is there?" he asked himself, and then shook his head, "it's just a party. Festive, dancing, but in the daytime so there's not a lot of drinking or formality."

Melissa leaned across the table, studying the invitations as she made her decision. She was dressed for work, in a black v-neck sweater and grey trousers. Sebastian didn't hide his gaze as it went down her shirt, watching the fabric as it shifted with her movements, revealing more and less of her cleavage. With her attention on the invitations, she didn't notice his stare.

"Let's go," she said finally.

Sebastian distracted, looked up and asked absently, "Go where?"

"To the party," she said, "You said I could pick. Well, let's go, if I can get the time off."

He shrugged, though he wasn't delighted to hear her decision. If she wanted to go, he could certainly stomach his family for a weekend. Maybe if they showed up, his mother wouldn't ask him to attend the next inevitable party or holiday or celebration. She might go back to ignoring him if he made her mad enough, but not so angry as to lose what he'd so recently gained. His thoughts were sliding, trying to both make and dig himself out a hole when Melissa reached across the table and put a hand over his.

"It'll be a good time for me to tell my mom she addressed the invitation wrong," he said, making himself laugh a little. She scowled and he laughed again, coming around the table to kiss her expression back into a smile.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”

For a place that was supposed to be the height of innovation, their jail cell felt almost exactly like every one in Thedas she'd ever seen, even those on tv shows. Instead of bars there were smooth, solid panes of one way glass and no way to open them at all. Everything was smooth with a dull silver shine to it, and it was just plain cold in there. It wasn't completely uncomfortable, but there were no cushions on the benches, nothing at all to make it more interesting than just a blank, inescapable room that was filled with Melissa and her friends.

Melissa was leaning on Sebastian, who was sitting up against the wall. Fenris was pacing the holding cell while Bethany sat with her eyes closed. Whether she was trying to sleep or meditating, Melissa couldn't tell. Lucky Lyrium, Sebastian's KSE brother, whose real name was apparently Norman Dukes, which was a totally awesome surname and seemed far superior to "Lucky Lyrium", was sitting on a bench opposite her and Sebastian with his head in his hands. Isabela was stretching in a far more showy and unnecessary manner than usual, occasionally catching the eye of both Lucky and Fenris, but Melissa couldn't fault her for it. It was cold in here.

It wasn't everyday she got locked up in the holding cell of a space station.

"I can't believe I'm sitting in space jail with you of all people," Melissa said, making each one of them look at her in turn.

"Who do you mean, sweet thing? Cause you and I have a history of winding up in cells together," Isabela said, making Sebastian shoot Melissa a questioning look. She shook her head at him. Now was not the time to discuss her sordid arrest record.

"I mean all of you, it's a collective you. I hate you all. Can't believe we got arrested," Melissa said, letting her whine trail into something less coherent than her accusations. It was rare that she whined or complained, preferring to just do things, but sitting in jail brought out the worst in her.

"The way I see it," Sebastian said, hooking an arm around her and pulling her close, "is that you can't hold your liquor, wanted to come with us and then tried to abandon us when the cops came. Don't worry, even on this cold and desolate space station in the face of your utter betrayal to try and save your own ass, I still love you Lissa."

"I don't," Bethany said, making Fenris huff out a laugh. "How is it that you run every day and you still are so fucking slow?"

"Different gravity," Lucky said before Melissa could protest.

"You a physics major, _Norman_?" she asked, her voice reaching epic levels of mocking, but Melissa broke in.

"Why 'Lucky Lyrium'? That's not nearly as cool as 'The Dukes'. I'd be Dukes if I were you, not some weird magic metal."

"First of all, lyrium has awesome properties," Lucky said, spreading a glare between both her and Bethany. "And secondly, my father is the Duke and I don't want his damn nickname too."

"I hear that," Sebastian said, garnering a murmur of assent from Isabela. They were quiet for several minutes until Fenris shattered the relative silence of the holding cell.

"We need to call someone to get us out of here. All of us. Who knows someone that can do it?" he asked, still pacing the cell.

"Carver can," Bethany said, but Melissa shook her head.

"He could, if he weren't in deep space on a mission," Melissa reminded her, causing a round chorus of swearing in the cell.

"My father could," Lucky started uncertainly. "But I guarantee he wouldn't spring all of us."

"My ex," Isabela began but was cut off by Sebastian.

"I can. There's enough credit on my chit to get us all out and then some."

Every head in the cell swiveled towards him and Sebastian shrugged. "I already am actually. We're just waiting to be processed so we can leave."

Melissa cuddled closer to him in the crook of his arm, feeling the impossible warmth of him sitting next to her on the floor. "You're the best person I ever got thrown into jail with," she said, throwing a glance at Isabela.

"You say that now," he said, but laughed as he did. "We're all going to be confined planetside for a year after this, probably."

"I don't want to come back," Bethany said. "Too cold."

"I just hate space," Isabela told them all. "There's no interesting and exotic alien life out here for me to befriend."

"Maker's golden ass, Bela, no one wants to hear your fantasy about fucking an alien again, not here," Melissa said irritably. "Besides, they haven't finished exploring our own system yet, let alone anything beyond it."

"She's saying," Fenris said dryly, "is that there might be aliens to fuck if you're already tired of humans, elves and dwarves. You're just going to have to wait for it."

"Or you could go exploring, get your own ship and set out among the stars," Lucky said, and Bela looked cheered at this thought.

The door slid open with a whoosh of pneumatic air, mercifully ending that conversation. A correctional officer stood in the entry, flanked by two bots on each side. "You all are free to go," they said.

On stiff legs, Melissa stood and offered her hand to Sebastian so he could lever himself up. Space jail sucked hard, but she suspected the ride back to the planet would be even worse.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Historical prompts bingo board -- Adultery  
> Not very historical, but it does sort of fit into the canon setting if you squint.

It wasn't that he touched her that earned him condemnation, it was that he burned for her.

Sebastian Vael had a sedate and normal life for a noble that included his wife, Flora Harimann. She still used the name, though they'd been wed since he was nineteen and she just seventeen. It was the wedding for them both, or Sebastian faced an exile and life within Chantry walls and she something similar and somehow more bleak. His parents were afraid he'd muddy up succession with a parade of bastards and bring shame on them, and he could admit he'd tried his hand at both from time to time, just to spite them. His wild attempts at garnering attention had turned into enjoyment at some point, and he loved the high life and parties.

Flora's only mistake was that she was a woman that loved other women in a time when her parents had already bargained on marrying her off to a noble man as a dutiful and proper wife. Sebastian hadn't wanted or needed at dutiful or proper wife in any way, and he'd told her so when she came to him crying, announcing that she wouldn't marry him. He'd surprised her that way, in the good way, and the look in her eyes, that hope was so wonderful, so unfamiliar that he never wanted to let her down. So they'd wed, in punishment and resentment, and found that they could be good friends away and live away from the scrutiny both sets of parents. He stayed in Kirkwall, where Lady Harimann bought them a house, but did not call upon them often. His parents visited less than that.

They had a happy life for years together, exploring the freedom and security their parents never gave them. Sebastian had lovers, oh, they both did, but hers were less frequent, and then once she met the widow Allison, Flora had found her match. He never actually considered this cheating, not truly. His actions, though he tried to keep his liaisons discreet for the sake of appearances, were sanctioned by his wife. He loved Flora, truly. She was the best friend he'd ever had, and that was more than he could have hoped for in a marriage.

He really enjoyed Allison as an addition to the household, and loved the way that Flora loved her. Allison was Fereldan and good at playing cards and told stories of life in a village that Sebastian couldn't believe. Who would think that she'd know so much that happened with her neighbors? He knew nothing of his, and they shared walls in Hightown. She had been timid at first, frightened of Kirkwall and the Blight that had forced her from her home on a wave of refugees, but she grew used to the city. A country mouse, she was scared of everything in the night that seemed out of place, and with Kirkwall bursting at the seams with people and noise and things, there was so much more displaced than usual.

It was through Allison that he met the Hawke. Melissa Hawke was also from the village of Lothering, a well-loved persona, even before she gained riches and fame in Kirkwall. In Ferelden she had been a farmer, a thief, a bulwark between her apostate sister and the forces that wanted to confine her, and Allison glowed when she introduced them. Hawke was as her name made her seem -- limitless and free as a bird, legendary, and fierce. Everything about her surprised him, that she was noble, an Amell no less, that she was kind, that she had gotten to know the Viscount within a year of arriving and that they considered each other friends. Allison had said that Hawke was extraordinary, but Sebastian had thought it hyperbole. Now he knew the expression wasn't strong enough to encompass her.

He wasn't sure when it started, only that night after night his mind was diverted from it's usual thoughts to Hawke. Each daytime visit to Allison, the friendship that she struck up not only with his wife, but with him, it made Sebastian fall harder, though it was at least a year before he tried acting on it. A year he lay in bed, thinking of nothing but her face, the way she smiled at him.

In the morning when she came around for breakfast, he tried flirting with her. Not his normal, overt way. There was no whispering in her ear and putting his hand on her thigh, no asking her to come to his room with him, though the thoughts had crossed his mind. It would ruin their friendship to approach her in such a way, she demanded his seduction. So he fell back on methods he'd never tried, the subtle things he'd once disdained as being too mild and indirect. He brushed hands with her, held her gaze for too long, lowered his voice when he spoke to her. Sebastian had thought at best she'd be confused, maybe upset with him for changing their lovely routine and morphing it into something so charged, but she wasn't.

Melissa flirted back with him, to his great surprise, and she was better at it than he was. When he stared at her, she looked up through her lashes at him. When he lowered his voice, she leaned in closer. When his hand brushed hers, she found a way to return the touch in a more intimate place, her hand on the small of his back, his forearm, the slight touch of her chest to his back as they made their way through a tight space. When he was the one to send her a bemused look, she tilted her head and licked her lips before smiling over her shoulder at him. After that, he'd needed to wait for the thickness in his trousers to abate, but he was sure. The attraction he'd covered for so long wasn't at all one-sided, and Sebastian, giddy with the realization, wasn't sure what to do with it except to keep flirting. Weeks they went on like that until one day she summoned him to her estate, asking for the pleasure of his company for the afternoon.

He'd expected a seduction. He decided to forgo smallclothes in anticipation. Sebastian kept his pants on for the whole visit, but wasn't disappointed.

"Do you play chess?" Hawke asked, and sat him at a table with a board already set up on it. She was better than him at it, playing hard and to win, with a sort of brute force he wasn't sure how to counter. There was an elegance to her plays he hadn't expected, but should have, knowing her. When he lost, she kissed him in consolation. Her lips, so often in his fantasies, were softer and more insistent than he'd ever imagined them. She wanted something, and hopefully it was within his power to give.

"If you want to make the next move, you'd better make it a good one," Melissa said to him as he departed.

"I'll come back for a rematch," Sebastian said, thinking quickly for the first time since he'd entered her estate.

"Will you?" The lift of one eyebrow asked another question, and he answered them both at once.

"Yes," he affirmed. _I would do anything for you_ , he added silently, and somehow he was sure she understood.

She grinned at him, but he saw the pleased surprise in it. He came back three days later, and at least twice a week after that. Every time he lost, she kissed him. She decided where to kiss him, someplace different with each loss. When he won, he kissed her. He'd learned her plays, her tells, and soon he won more games than he lost. They were courting.

It wasn't a long courting period, as nontraditional as it was, but neither one of them were blessed with an excess of patience. As delicious as the interplay was, the feeling that was stoked by a glance from across the room, a smile, eyes that looked away before they betrayed something, it wasn't how either of them liked it. She was too direct, too Fereldan, too bold, and he was spoiled, too used to getting what he wanted with minimal effort. He went to her estate for breakfast alone, for both Allison and Flora had watched him spiral into this relationship with knowing smiles and left them to fall, with his intentions set on getting into her bed.

When the door to the estate opened, Hawke was there in her dressing gown. Her servants were nowhere to be seen, and she supplied that they'd accompanied her mother on a trip to Orlais.

"I grow weary of dancing, Sebastian," she said simply, and pulled him into a hard kiss. He let the door slam behind him.

It took more willpower than he thought he possessed that day to not take her in the entry hall, but even he could exercise some restraint. Just barely, they made it back to bed, all thoughts of breakfast forgotten. He doubted there was any food anyway, with the servants gone. His clothes scattered a trail through the house from the door to her bedroom, where he'd hastily removed his socks at the edge of the bed.

"Hawke," he said as she loomed above him, eyes wild with the expectation a hundred thousand flirtations since they'd began playing chess had fueled in her.

"Melissa. I'm Melissa when we're like this," she said.

"Melissa, I have to confess." He swallowed and took a breath before continuing. "I've never done this before. I mean, I have, but this is different, with you."

"What's different?"

"I love you," he told her, unashamed that the words had come out so readily. His heart had known it for ages, but they were words and feelings that he was unaccustomed to knowing. She closed her eyes, stilling at his confession. It took another moment before she opened them to speak.

"I wish I could turn that away to protect you, but my heart has gone too far as well. I love you, too, and I'm a fool for it."

"Why do you say that?" he asked, rasping, the question nearly whispered.

"Because the things that I love best tend to go up in flames."

Sebastian kissed her, pulling her down to meet his mouth with the gentle touch of his hand on the back of her neck. He slid inside of her during the kiss, answering her last statement with one of his own. Let the Maker and the prophet condemn them, let the world speak their secrets and shake their heads. They would endure. He would gladly burn for her.

Had he known that loving her meant Kirkwall would also burn around them, well, he was a selfish man; he'd still make the same choice.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Historical prompt bingo square -- Madness

If Princess Melissa hadn't already known her husband was mad before he ran screaming into her home, then she certainly would have known afterwards.

His carriage, pulled by four fast horses, already sweating and in need of a change, pulled up to the gates where the guard tried to stop him. They were not enough, the gate and walls themselves were no match for whatever drove him. By the time her estranged husband was in the house, all manner of shouting had brought the princess rushing down from the tower room where she conducted business and maintained a study.

"Where is he?" Sebastian was yelling, his bellow so loud that it made the items on the tables nearest him shake. "Where is my son? Find him! Bring my wife and son here!"

A son? Melissa was a perplexed as anyone about why her husband would think his bastard housed here, and she stepped out the shadows to come confront the man. She kept a grip on her dagger as she did, cursing that she only had the one and was clad in a dress. It was early afternoon, and though she expected no one for tea, she had dressed for it, tired of her customary work clothes and armor.

"I am here, Prince Sebastian. Your Highness, calm yourself," she began, but Prince Sebastian seized her, gripping her in large, strong hands that were so tight she couldn't begin to move. Her dagger clattered to the floor as her fingers were unable to maintain the grip, though he caused her no pain. It was if he touched her in just the right way to make her limbs useless in a fight.

"Where is my son?" he asked her, and though he was no longer yelling, his eyes hadn't lost their madness.

"I know not of whom you speak, Prince Sebastian."

"You're hiding him! I want to see my son!"

"I most certainly am not. I would do no such thing to a child, though if you would be as rough with your son as you are with me, I would be a shield," Melissa said, chin jutting out. "But I have not met your son. Is the mother a maid or some other woman of the house?"

"A maid?" Sebastian sputtered, looking at her askance and relaxing his hold on her. She took the chance to step away from it, though not out of reach of him. "You jest, woman. You bore me a son, after our wedding. I was told we had a child. You wrote to me about him."

Melissa was thoroughly confused, and shook her head. "I did no such thing, Your Highness. We have no children, and since I've not seen you in three years, we've had not the chance since we wed." Melissa flushed after saying that, it was unseemly to talk of such thing in front of her household, but allowances must be made. Her husband was obviously mad, confused and prone to other disturbing emotions. Plain speech worked best in such circumstances.

"She speaks truly, Prince Sebastian," a voice said, and Melissa whirled, angry that another person was in her home without her permission. He'd brought guards, or at least this one. She hadn't seen soldiers coming from the carriage, but she supposed he must have some. "I have had a search of the bedrooms, and there is no indication of a child living here, though my search was rushed and there are many rooms." The man was an elf, and his body was limned in lines of magic, white tattoos with a blue tinge that crossed every visible part of his body, even disappearing into his shock of white hair. She could smell lyrium on him, and knew it was the magic within him that made him especially deadly, despite the giant sword he wielded.

"Did you send him away?" he asked, eyes darting to her and around the room again. Melissa stood her ground.

"Do not persist in this madness! I have no children, and I know not what lies you were told, but you and I have nothing together, not even a true marriage."

The silence in the house was so thick that it felt like a blanket of fresh, heavy snow and had all the impenetrability of a blizzard. "I do remember our wedding correctly," Sebastian said, his voice tinged with anger, "and I know we have a valid marriage, no matter how long it has been since we were wed."

"Legally valid though it may be, that is not what I meant, and you know it. We have no children, do not know each other."

"Why did you write me such lies?" Sebastian asked, turning on her once again. "Answer me!"

"I did no such thing, and will not answer to a madman making demands in my home."

"I am not mad," Sebastian insisted, and took a step back from her.

Now that he wasn't yelling, she could see him little changed from the version of the man she remembered, though he was darker and had more lines about his bright blue eyes. The sweep of his auburn hair was the same, the softness of his mouth, though his face was lightly spattered with freckles that she had no memory of seeing before. It was strange that he was so dark, would he be if he had been in a sanitarium as she was told? Doubt began to creep into her mind as she compared this raving Sebastian to the man she'd met only once before. That man hadn't yelled, but smiled sadly, the expression never touching his eyes in the scant few hours she'd known him after their wedding.

She thought he was going to take out a knife or maybe some other kind of weapon, but instead he unfolded a worn letter. It was carefully folded, though heavily read, with her name was signed at the bottom though it was not written in her hand. She skimmed the fanciful and poorly written exploits of a woman and her son, and slowed down to read the closing aloud.

"Sebastian, I beg of you for the sake of our child, please stay away and let us live free. If you have love for your son, let him grow in peace, away from the court and trappings of royal life. We are protected and like the quiet. This is the last I will write, but know that I wish you well. Your wife, Melissa."

"But I did not write this, would not write it, these are not my words. Had we a child, I wouldn't keep you from them. I have written to you every week, as your mother demanded. I thought you in a sanitarium for your health. When she visited, your mother made it seem as if you were very ill, and I should not visit for fear of upsetting you. But I did write, faithfully. I kept copies in my study."

He opened his mouth to respond to her, but only a small moan came out. Something about the nature of it alarmed her, and not just her, the elf guard that Sebastian had brought with him. They both rushed towards him, but the elf reached him first, though not in time. Her husband, a man she had not seen in three years and was known as mad not just to her, but to all of the people of town, then fainted into a heap of man and armor upon her hearth rug.

#

His head throbbed as if all of the blood in his body were sluggishly working through his skull at once. The air around them was damp and cold, and Sebastian couldn't remember where he was at first. He'd been so many places the past three years, and lived in none of them. As he toppled further into wakefulness, the past few days came to the forefront of his mind, and he groaned. He sat up to find Fenris at the door, and no one in the room with him. The room, though unfamiliar, was certainly still at Lothian Castle, which meant his wife was somewhere around.

His wife, Melissa. Had she always been such a small woman? Sebastian couldn't rightly recall after three years away, though he remembered how much smaller than him she'd been on their wedding night. That night had other things he remembered as well, and some he held very close all of these years apart. Brave though, as he'd seen then and now, when she wouldn't flinch from his yelling. He had her portrait, and that's how he recalled her best, the smiling, still face of the woman that sat for a painting to gift to her betrothed. Long black hair pulled into Ferelden braids to honor that portion of her heritage, small brown eyes that shone merrily, full lips that begged for his kiss. In the portrait she'd become larger than life, but in person, she was tiny and cool, her eyes betraying none of the happiness he'd seen painted in them. He had wondered if his son had his eyes or hers.

A lance of pain that had nothing to do with his swoon cascaded through him. These past years he had lived for the thought of meeting his son at long last. He'd dreamed of nothing but coming home to his wife and making amends, having the family that should have been his. His fanciful imagination had even led him to entertain the idea of more children, though he recognized he had work to do before it could happen, work to do to make things right with Lady Melissa. Even if she did not want him any longer, and from the letters he'd received he thought Melissa had grown to hate him for leaving her with a child, his intention was to come here and make peace, even if it couldn't restore his marriage.

But then everything went to hell.

"You're awake. You must be careful Your Highness, your wounds will not heal if you continue to overtax yourself. I administered a poultice and gave you a potion after you fell," Fenris said, looking in the room and seeing Sebastian sitting up in bed. "Your wife thought to find the healer, but they are away assisting with a birth at one of the outlying farms. She wanted to sit with you, but I would not allow it. She is unknown and could be dangerous to you, especially after your entrance downstairs. Or she may be part of the plot against your family, I cannot say."

"Which grows ever murkier."

They only thing that kept him in the bed was the fact that it had taken him some few days to locate his wife, and then it was only by the fickle hand of luck that he obtained it from the office of the factor his family used. He thought the secrecy was to protect his son, and the lie of the promise of a family filled him with renewed rage. Sebastian had to take a pointed breath to release some of it. The lie had been as cruel as it was intended to be, though he knew not whom it benefited.

"Yes. I believe she intends to clear some of it up," Fenris said, and nodded to a stack of letters tied in a bundle on the carved wood bedside table. "She brought those, and they are in her hand. I cannot tell what they say, you know that my reading is not strong, but the shapes do not match the notes that were delivered to you in the field."

"If my head would stop hurting, I might be able to read them. Blast. What time is it? Did she eat?"

"She said to ring for a tray from the kitchens, but that barley water on your table is safe. It is nearly nightfall, and I had to assume you wouldn't wake before we could find an inn for the night. I didn't want to presume to take over her house, but I made some changes. Considering what we walked into before, I thought it prudent."

"Aye," Sebastian agreed, but didn't say more. Fenris rang for the food and went outside while Sebastian picked up the bundle of letters and untied them with a shaking hand. Damn. Damn fool thing for him to do bursting in here like that, but he had been scared. His son and wife were in danger, and he needed to get to them. Now he had.

Sebastian took a drink of the barley water and let the coolness of his clear some of the sleep from him. The first letter he picked up was the newest, and he saw at once that Fenris was right. The shapes of the letters, the brush of the quill, even the way they were slanted didn't match the ones he'd received. All of them were addressed to him, some simply said 'Prince Sebastian' but others were to 'my dear husband' and always included her wishes for him to get better. These had parts scratched out, and blots of ink -- they were drafts. But she'd kept them, when they could have easily been tossed into the fire. Pain prickled between his eyes, but Sebastian didn't put the letter down. He read it, and then the next one. He was reading another when the food finally came.

When he got through the few that she'd left him, for there had to be more after three years, he went to find Melissa.

#

It was late, but she couldn't yet sleep. The work for the day had been interrupted, her house in disarray, and she had a good number of new people to accommodate on her rather meager stores, but they could do it. Melissa sighed, sweeping the dark curls of her that had escaped from her chignon away from her face. What else could she do?

As she had so often in the past, she went to pick up her quill and write a letter, but she put it back down immediately. The solace that had once come from writing to Sebastian, the husband she might never have known, was shattered by his presence in her home. It was hard to see him as her confidant, a silent and sheltered husband she wished to know when he'd fainted from apoplectic anger in her front room. She still didn't know what to make of him, from the bellowing to the belief he had a son, to the swoon, he certainly seemed as mad as his princess mother made him out to be.

The moons shone brightly in the chilly night sky, and she looked out the sliver of a window towards Ferelden, though it was miles and seas away. She was in the far south of Starkhaven, as far as she could be away from the center of the city and Vael Castle. The prince and princess had settled her in this place, almost a ruin when she'd come, and told her to make it her own. They sent an allowance, and at first they visited her, encouraged her to write to Sebastian for his health.

She had believed he was in a sanitarium, because she had no notion of who he was save for what she was told, and the little she could remember. They were wed so quickly, and she hadn't met him before. He came alone to Kirkwall to ask Mother for her hand while she was in Orlais, and a month later they were wed. The rumors flew fast and thick right after their marriage -- that he was in Kirkwall whoring around town, or that he was in Val Royeaux pretending to be a chanter -- those were the kind rumors. There were the ones that said he had the pox so bad no mage could heal it and had gone mad from that, and the others that insinuated him to be a murderer or thief, or that he was as mad as his parents had told her he was and was never, ever coming back to her, despite her hopes.

"You are a far more compelling writer than whoever wrote to me," Sebastian said, and his voice was quiet as it interrupted her thoughts. He stood in her doorway and Melissa turned to him, rising from her chair as she did. She didn't know if she should curtsey or not, but she did so just in case.

"I am sorry, Your Highness. I had no idea my letters weren't reaching you, or that someone was sending false ones in their place. To what end I wonder?" Melissa mused, looking at him. His hair was rumpled with sleep, and jaw shadowed with stubble, but he was clean and had changed from his traveling clothes.

It was obvious now that he was a soldier, though she hadn't known it before. The bearing of him, the wideness of chest and broadness of his shoulders caught her attention, but she made herself concentrate on him overall. His physique was of a man that had been very active, not sitting wasting away someplace body and mind, and she'd already noted the darkness of his complexion, though he wasn't as brown as she was.

That night, on their one night together, she'd realized he was an archer from the beautiful asymmetry of his sculpted body, the callouses on the pads of the fingers he dragged over her belly, but everyone used a weapon, skill with one did not necessarily mark a trained soldier. She herself used daggers and was handy with a bow as well and knew much of hunting. It meant nothing to use see signs of training in a person. He had not wed her in his uniform, but in finery, deceiving her without intent. He was a soldier, it was plain to her, and one that had been at the front far too long. Much more than that, she couldn't know, and Melissa wasn't sure what was truth and what false now. She'd been lied to for a very long time, perhaps from the very moment she'd consented to an engagement with a prince she'd never even laid eyes on.

"Are you well?" she asked, and Sebastian began to nod, but then thought better of it.

"I am, and I am sorry for frightening you. I thought that the servants were deliberately hiding you and, uh, our son. I have apologized."

"Where have you been, Sebastian?" she asked, and then Melissa clapped her hand over her traitorous mouth. She hadn't wanted to just say those words, but there they were, out in the open already before she had time to work up to them. She let her arms fall to her sides and hugged herself instead, waiting for the answer.

"Fighting the Tevinters at first, then to the Anderfels for my father, to Par Vollen after that. But that is unimportant. How did you live?" he asked, and they exchanged looks of confusion.

"I had an allowance," she started, but he held up a hand.

"There was an attack on Vael Castle, and my family has been murdered. All of them. I thought that I'd reach you too late, and you would share their fate. The palace was sacked a week ago now," he told her, voice heavy as he said the words.

Shock flooded through her, and now she could understand some of his frenzy when he'd arrived. "Truly? That is awful! I offer my condolences, Your Highness, but I had no idea."

"I don't know who started this coup, but I feared for you and our son," he said, ending on a hard laugh. "I came here as quickly as I could. I didn't know where you were, so it took me longer to reach you than I would have liked," Sebastian said, and turned to look at her. "I thought you were hiding from me, though that may have spared you the blades that killed my parents and brothers."

"But I would not hide from you. I was _waiting_ for you, even if I had to take care of you myself. No one comes here, not even the prince and princess for the last year or so. I suppose I look like any other noble to an outsider, and the people here call me Lady Melissa. Those that know I am wed to you were told the same as I, that you were unwell and that Lothian Castle was to be a refuge."

"You thought me mad?"

"Your parents said so, no, they _insisted_. They gave my family money to keep it quiet, but rumors got out anyhow. I was told that I should write to aid your recovery, so I did, at least once every week, usually more. Those were the letters I left you, at least some of them, I always do two copies, and sent the cleaner one." She squeezed her eyes shut and went on, fighting the urge to cry as she spoke. "I stayed, and waited as I was told, I am faithful. Your madness was incurable your mother said, and told me that one day you may need to come here to live without anyone knowing who you were. So I prepared. I restored this house and made it easier to use, and then I waited," Melissa finished, feeling silly about all of it, her gullibility and her tears. She had been tricked so easily, she could see that now.

"I was never locked away, my lady, though I did spent time in hospital after being injured on the front. Nevermind that now. We must prepare for assassins. They may have followed me, though we took pains make sure we weren't. It was my intent to find you and leave with my family, to go into hiding," Sebastian said. He walked over to the window and looked out it before turning back to her. "I have few soldiers and am not sure who to trust besides Fenris, but I owe you protection at the very least."

"Do you? I think I am owed more than that," Melissa said. She wasn't haughty about it and even managed to keep the anger out of her voice, but Maker, she'd been abandoned. Whatever the reasoning behind orchestrating this farce of a marriage, she'd kept it up for three years, and she wanted more than to be chased from her home in the name of saving her life. "This place was once a keep, and some of the old traps still work. Soldiers can placed at strategic points, and I know the passages and backways better than anyone. I've been restoring this place to the best of my ability since you left me."

"It was war that kept me away, not insanity. I always intended to come back from the fighting, until I thought you didn't want me," Sebastian said, a note of pleading in his voice. "Please believe that."

She shook her head, and stood up from her desk. "We should prepare if we're to go about saving our own lives. I need my armor and daggers. I want to make sure this old fortress is safe before I retire tonight."

"Right," Sebastian said. He hesitated as she walked by and then stuck out a hand to halt her leaving the room. "Was there no child after our wedding night?"

"Your mother gave me the potion to prevent the seed from planting in my womb before you came to me that night." Melissa shook her head, trying hard to recall it without any undue emotion. As much as she may have worried for and missed him while he was gone, she didn't regret that night. "The princess said that your sickness might infest any child we got together and that I would have a chance later, should you get better. I thought it a mercy at the time."

"Why did she do this to me? What reason did they have for keeping us apart these years? he asked, anguish arcing through the questions as he spoke, breaking his voice. For the first time since he'd broke into her house yelling, she saw a glimpse of the kind, soft-spoken man she'd met and married on the same day.

"I'd tell you to ask them, but you just told me they were dead. If you don't want to join them, I suggest we get to work," Melissa said, her voice a little harsher than she'd intended. It had the correct effect however, because Sebastian snapped back to himself, the soldier in his bearing now as he led her down the stairs to the bedrooms.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweet affectionate moments meme -- catching the other before they fall
> 
> This is the early days of Kirkwall Tech. I like it set way back, sometime between Secrets Better Shared and Swelter.

His lab lasted longer than he’d expected and Sebastian starving by the time he was able to leave. Luckily, it was still light out as he made to leave the engineering building, but twilight was about to come on. He could feel it hovering, ready to descend upon the day and turn it brilliant colors before it sank into darkness, but he had little thought for the scenery around him. Hungry as he was, Sebastian stopped in the foyer of the building, leaning against one of the large windows to check his phone.

He wanted to talk to Hawke. Melissa. He still thought of her as Hawke, the way everyone referred to her at Tech. He heard few people call her by her given name, though she smiled at him when he did. The memory made him smile down at his phone, even though he was so hungry he was about to eat the damn thing. Melissa’d just answered him, and she was just a few floors down at the engineering and science library doing work. He made his way down there, unsurprised but still a little annoyed that the coffee and snacks cart had already closed down for the day.

Melissa was in a small alcove of single seats near a window that looked out towards Hightown. The light was just starting to fade, but Sebastian didn’t spare the sunset a single glance. Melissa, with her dark hair in a messy ponytail that fell over her shoulder when she bent to put her books in her bag, she had all of his attention. They’d kissed for the first time not too long ago, and a few times since, but he was always ready to oblige her if the desire came up again.

“Melissa.” He called out her name in a low voice as he approached, and she turned to look in his direction with a smile. Sebastian didn’t know why he’d troubled himself to be quiet when he could have shouted in this library – there was someone just behind her talking loudly to her other group members about a paper – but he always wanted to be quiet in libraries. It was a habit.

He saw her start to trip as she was pulling on her jacket and a burst of unexpected speed put him next to her before she could fall. Her bag was at her feet, and she’d stepped over it before, then back to put on her coat, and her feet were all tangled. In a moment he was there, catching her lightly against his chest, but more importantly, keeping her from face-planting in the library. It had tile floors. It wouldn’t have been pretty.

“Hi. I’m lucky you have such good reflexes,” she said, looking up at him. He was still holding her against his chest, and was in no great hurry to let her go. Her brown eyes held a little alarm, but mostly she looked amused as she smiled up at him.

“It’s no trouble,” he said softly, but didn’t let her go. He should, he knew that, but he wanted to kiss her. This would be the perfect time, but he didn’t know if he should or if just could or what. Their relationship was too new, too strange for him and Sebastian was out of his depth and overthinking it. Would she mind if he kissed her? Would she mind if he didn’t stop for a while?

In the end, he just smiled and released her with a little reluctance. She steadied herself with a hand against his chest and he looked down at her. “Were you always this short?” he asked, masking the moment where he should have kissed her. He blew out a breath as she gave him a frustrated laugh.

“I am the second-tallest person in my family, I’ll have you know. And Carver is a giant, so he hardly counts. I am the tallest Hawke in Kirkwall.”

“Carver’s your little brother?” he asked, and she nodded. She was safely away now, sliding her backpack onto her shoulders and no where near him to feel his heart beating too quickly inside of his chest.

“Not so little, though. He’s taller than you by about three or four inches,” Hawke said and grinned at him. “And he definitely outweighs you. Giant, I told you.” She was standing right on the edge of close, and Sebastian nearly turned away from her but stopped when she put a hand on his arm and pressed a kiss to his cheek. It only took a moment, but he felt the spot where she’d kissed him as if she’d left a lipstick print, and felt himself grinning before he could stop it.

“Thank you for saving me from myself,” she said and then stepped away. “You said you were hungry, so what should we get for dinner?” she asked, starting to walk out of the library. Sebastian caught up, slipped his hand into hers and tried to keep his mind on just food.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Historical bingo prompt - Remorse

It had been nearly eight years since she'd found her mother in that sewer with him. Melissa didn't think about him much, only that she was glad he was dead. She thought about Gaspard DuPuis more, with more fervor and hatred, because he was in her way, he got in her way, and if he hadn't been her mother might not have died. She could have saved her.

She knew her mother probably would have been lured by Quentin regardless, but Gaspard was easy to blame, and he bore it so well, being dead and all. Melissa tried to believe it when she said that "The Maker works in mysterious ways", but what she really meant was that the Maker was an asshole that didn't fucking care. Of course, she didn't say that around Sebastian.

He was still so very careful, even if he wasn't actually in the Chantry anymore. Only once since his family died had she heard him question, and then it was in a fit of rage. He hadn't known what was flying out of his mouth, he was just all hot anger and righteous frustration that burned out as quickly as it had erupted. Sebastian had more faith than she did, but then again, he held fast to it where Melissa never embraced her own.

Perhaps that was why there was of no comfort for her on this bleak day. She tried not to remember the anniversary date, to instead celebrate birthdays or happy memories instead of the day her mother died. Sometimes it was impossible. When Hawke woke up that morning, there was a catch in her chest that seemed to snag on itself and bring on tears before she'd even washed her face. Sadness weighted her down so much that she feared to get into the overlarge marble bath she usually loved, for fear that she might drown.

Even putting the powder on her toothbrush was too much, and she just sat there with it, trying to breathe. Sebastian had been up early, as he usually was, and left for his daily duties as prince of Starkhaven. She was just the consort, and not terribly good at that most of the time. When the maids came, Hawke waved them away as they tried to bathe and dress her, and sat heavily on the bed, looking out the window unseeing as her thoughts pressed in on her.

Was there more remorse for her mother because she felt like she'd failed to stop her demise, or because she knew that she couldn't have done more than she did? Melissa didn't know. Something was caught in her chest, and it was choking her slowly, building even as she tried hard to swallow against it. On unsteady legs, she stood and made for the balcony, hoping that the air might help. Starkhaven was much cleaner than Kirkwall, but they worked at it. When they'd moved, the persistent cough she'd developed in her last few years in Kirkwall cleared up to just a faint rattling in her chest in weeks.

"Not that I object to seeing you half-dressed," Sebastian drawled from the doorway where he leaned, "but the nobility isn't accustomed to seeing their princess in her nightdress. You'd start a most alarming trend, and I have no desire to see many of them in their night clothes."

She turned and then looked down at herself with a rueful smile. "I forgot to get dressed, I think," Melissa said softly.

He didn't smile back at her, and that alone was enough to make her anxious before he frowned. Sebastian in his crown and court finery, a bow strapped to his back and knife at his waist, wasn't supposed to frown so mightily at her. Melissa turned away from his searching eyes and disapproving expression, back to the clothes her ladies had left out, and the basin where her toothbrush stood ready. She disappeared behind the screen and brushed her teeth, poking out to see if Sebastian was still waiting when she was done. He was, and though the frown had disappeared, the feeling it left behind hadn't.

"Do you want help?" he asked, stepping from the doorway at last.

"Yes, please."

Sebastian walked behind the screen where she was pulling on new underclothes. He didn't say anything as he helped her into first her corset, then stockings. Melissa's long hair was tangled from sleep, but it would take only a few minutes to comb it out and set it to rights.

"Did you think I wouldn't remember?" Sebastian asked in a low voice. "I always know when you're sad anyway, but it starts almost a month before your mother died. Every year, the nightmares come and I hear you crying in your sleep. Lissa, look at me."

She looked up, suddenly ashamed. Of course he knew. It wasn't that she hadn't thought he knew, but rather that she couldn't, wouldn't share this grief with him. Not if she could help it. He had more than enough of his own to bear. Sebastian tipped her chin up with two fingers, keeping her from looking away.

"It's not your fault. It never was," he said. "Your mother wouldn't blame you. Would you blame our children if it had been you?"

"Our kids are all in the single digits," Melissa said, but sighed, conceding the point. "You're right, I know you are Sebastian, and yet I'm still filled with this awful remorse."

"Letting it go isn't easy," he said, and his words were too gentle, too experienced and weary for her to bear. A tear fell onto the dress she'd started to pull on, it was halfway up but all of her energy to finish dressing deserted her.

"I want to go home," she told him.

Sebastian looked surprised as he asked, "To Kirkwall?" Melissa shook her head.

"Let me take the children to Ferelden. I think I need to go back now." For years he'd asked if she wanted to go, but she'd always avoided it. Losing Carver during their last, desperate escape made her feelings towards it bitter, though time had mellowed it. Now she had young children, and traveling with them seemed like something that was better delayed until they were older.

But she needed to go home. Maybe there she could finally lay her mother to rest properly.

Sebastian was nodding at her as if he'd heard her thoughts. Perhaps he just understood her too well after all these years, though that was usually a good thing. "We can leave in a week or two, if you can wait that long."

"I can," Melissa said. She pulled her dress up finally and Sebastian buttoned the back for her, finally fully dressed as the Chantry clock tower chimed out noon as the hour. When the carillon stopped its song, she turned to him in the silence. "Thank you."

Sebastian kissed her hand like the courtier he was, and slid an arm around her waist, pulling her close. "Anything for you," he whispered into her hair as she buried her face in the warmth of his chest.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trope bingo: Surprise Pregnancy  
> Set sometime in the nebulous future.

She thought it was the flu. That seemed so stupid in retrospect, because Melissa should have realized that she _could_ get pregnant, even if they weren't exactly trying. Now as she stood at the healer's office with a prescription for pre-natal vitamins and so many papers she felt like she needed a file folder for them all, she was just stunned.

Sebastian wasn't with her. He'd asked if she wanted him to go with her to appointment, but she'd been sure it was just the flu making her tired and nauseated. She'd been sleeping so much, but it never occurred to her to take a pregnancy test. It kind of felt better for her to know first, alone, because she would have had to deal with his reaction too.

Sebastian would probably be excited. She was, kind of, but more just stunned. Scared maybe, but mostly just in shock.

She walked home, just to give herself some time to think. It wasn't quite warm enough for her to do it comfortably, but she wasn't far from the apartment. When she got home, she was alone and decided to go back to bed. She just wanted to stop her head from spinning, to maybe slow her thoughts down, but she fell asleep.

Because she was pregnant, and tired from more than just her walk. Pregnant.

"Liss," Sebastian called softly when he entered the bedroom. "Are you awake?" It was dark outside the giant windows of their apartment, and she knew she'd been sleeping for hours.

"Hi," she answered, sitting up groggily. She had been sleeping, but she wanted to talk to Sebastian more than she wanted to go on napping.

He was wearing his work clothes, and though he hadn't actually changed since she'd seen him that morning, she saw him differently. He was wearing the conservative button-up shirt and trousers he always wore to work, but now instead of wishing he would put on a KSE shirt and sweatpants like when they met, she was glad he took his job seriously. She was always glad of that, but sometimes she missed the way he was when they'd started dating.

That time wasn't now. Now he looked like the man she'd come to love and rely on, the one who'd quietly admitted that he wanted children whenever she did, and if that day never came he wouldn't love her any less. They'd both said they wanted children, but they'd never talked about when. It just would be part of that nebulous time in the future, like when they talked about building a country house outside the city or visiting the Anderfels. Someday had become today, at least for part of their future plans.

"What did the healers say?" he asked softly, coming to sit on the bed with her. He wasn't really paying attention to her, he was taking off his watch and then his socks, and she watched him in silence. A million scenarios had played out in her head of how to tell him, but in the moment she was terrified of saying the words. Saying them meant it was real.

"I'm fine," she started, because she was, just tired and shocked, but ultimately fine. "But you should prepare for all the Father's Day gifts you're going to get."

He froze. Sebastian had started to unbutton his shirt and his hands stilled on the second button like she'd pressed pause on him. Melissa pulled the pillow to her chest, waiting for him to start moving again. When he did, it was like he was in slow motion. His head turned around to look at her and it felt like it took an age for him to finally meet her gaze. She was shocked to see the longing in his, the hope that this was really happening.

"Truly?"

"Yes, I'm six, maybe seven weeks along," she told him. She was grinning now, Melissa could feel her face stretching, but Sebastian looked the way she'd felt earlier when she'd walked out into the street with her clutch of papers and the knowledge that she and Sebastian's lives were going to permanently change.

Then he smiled back at her, and the way he looked was transcendent. His grin was so big, his eyes were barely visible. She'd seen him happy before, supremely happy, but this was something else. This look she'd only ever seen once before, and then he was hugging her, crushing her to him in a grip so fierce it stole her breath away. The pillow was crushed between them, keeping safeguard over her belly and the tiny, rapidly multiplying group of cells within that made up their baby. They wound up kissing, and when they pulled apart he was still smiling.

The shock wore off fully while she was in his arms, and even though she was still completely frightened, Melissa let herself be happy too.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> historical prompt bingo: supplication

She was all wrong to be a supplicant. Melissa had a passing familiarity with the Maker, and thought of herself as Andrastian, but she wasn't religious, not really. When it came down to it, she was too bitter about the way life had been when it was very bad, and she alone was left to make sure her family didn't die out from starvation or something worse. Then in Kirkwall, where things were supposed to get better, they did for a while until everything got much, much worse. She had issues with the thought of a divine plan, when there was clearly nothing but randomness and chance holding court in the world she knew.

The Maker had failed her. Hadn't she lived up to her part? Hadn't she put in the work? Didn't it matter that she worked and worked and worked until she had to physically fight to keep Kirkwall together? 

If Andraste smiled on her, Melissa didn't get any benefit from it. What good was the smile of a dead woman?

But Sebastian asked her to marry him, to have a traditional Chantry wedding. Even though he wasn't bound by those vows anymore, it was clear that he wanted them to have a shared spiritual life with guidance from the Chantry. He hadn't asked her to take vows or even do anything outside of get married in Starkhaven where they'd live, the Chantry had made their position clear on the matter. The princess of Starkhaven should be a godly woman, a supplicant of the Maker and his bride, with close ties to the Chantry.

After all, she should be grateful. It was the Chantry that had restored Sebastian to the throne of Starkhaven. It was the Chantry that formally released him from his vows and counseled him that he could 'keep the Maker and his temperance in his heart' while also begetting the heirs to Starkhaven. It was the Maker's will that they could sleep together once they were wed, at least that's how Melissa had taken their softly-spoken advice on the issue. She had no cause for venom where it concerned Sebastian or Starkhaven. Their advice had been solid, sound and fair. The Chantry steadied him, grounded him and supported Sebastian, whom she loved.

But as she sat waiting for the Revered Mother to bless her, she couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite. Sebastian was waiting for her, looking reverential as she received her blessings. They felt hollow, like empty words dressed up with incense smoke and gilded robes. Why did this place give Sebastian so much peace and her so much pause?

As if he knew her thoughts, Sebastian nodded at her. It wasn't understanding, but an acknowledgement. She just had to get through this.

Maybe she wasn't meant to be a supplicant, but that was fine, she didn't have to be one for very long to become a princess.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: courtship rituals

"You know I asked your mother for permission to marry you," Sebastian said casually, as Melissa looked up at him from the other end of their bed.

"Why?" she asked, genuinely curious. After all, he didn't care about what his parents thought, so why care about Leandra's opinion of them or blessing?

"Because it's _proper_ ," he said, putting a stress on the end. "Does it not matter to you? I thought since you're Fereldan and there's all of those customs," he said, trailing off at the end.

She thought about it, and realized dimly, that he had been courting her traditionally. When Sebastian had brought her to a barn dance organized by the refugees in Lowtown, she just thought he was trying to give her back a piece of home, but he did dance with only her all night. When she woke up to wildflowers on her windowsill, she'd sniffed them happily and put them in water. She'd known they were from him, but she hadn't realized why he'd given them to her. Oh, and there was the time he'd started singing those old Ferelden folk tunes to her, but she'd just thought... _oh_. Maker, how hadn't she realized?

"Wait," she said, sitting up straight, "Did you give my mother three goats and a sheaf of wheat?"

"Don't be silly," Sebastian said, and she took a relieved breath. "Your mother wouldn't accept them or their fair market price."

"Why? Why did you try to dower yourself to my mother?" she asked, incredulous. Melissa really couldn't believe that this was happening. When she looked over at Sebastian, he was giving her an equally disbelieving look.

"Because I want to get married. To you, even thought you don't seem to have noticed that yet," he said.

"But you've already asked me, and I said yes. We have a wedding planned. When did you do this?"

"Before I asked. I'm a prince of Starkhaven. It can't be said that I didn't follow procedure."

Melissa felt a headache building behind her eyes and shut them so block out the light. If she pursued this, they'd both just wind up frustrated and she'd feel foolish for all the other signs that she missed. He'd been trying, in his own way, to do things right by her. She could appreciate that. When Melissa opened her eyes, she titled her head to the side and gave Sebastian a conciliatory smile.

"All right, so I missed my cues. All of them, apparently; but you're right, this should be done properly, as befits your status. You are a prince. What do I need to do?"

Sebastian looked surprised, but smiled at her. He shook his head as he thought about it, and then answered. "Marry me, that's all. Starkhaven doesn't have many courting traditions, just ceremonial ones for the wedding."

She had a feeling he wasn't telling her a great deal about traditions, and if he was keeping it from her, Melissa wanted to know. Perhaps the library would yield some insights. Or she could ask Varric, who seemed to know far too much about this for someone that never married. She gave him her best smile back as a plan started to form in her mind.

They had to do things properly, didn't they?


End file.
